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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23998951">If I Sext the Group  (Maybe They Won't Find Out About Us)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ian_the_Existential_Crisis/pseuds/Ian_the_Existential_Crisis'>Ian_the_Existential_Crisis</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Apex Legends (Video Games)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Crack, Crack Fic, Dad Caustic, F/F, F/M, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Me laughing at my own jokes at 2 am, Multi, OT3, Open Relationships, Other, Revenant is so edgy he cant even cut butter, Secret Relationship, Sexual Content, dad gibby, i get inspired easily, idk - Freeform, idle chatter, other dubious content, pathfinder is a wholesome animal lover, tag yourself im caustic, txt au, who knows when this fic will actually be done</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 21:41:57</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>8,130</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23998951</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ian_the_Existential_Crisis/pseuds/Ian_the_Existential_Crisis</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The (kinda) sexual and  (extremely) cursed text AU that absolutely nobody wanted.</p><p>Elliott Witt really thinks that being horny with the rest of the group will hide the fact that he's trying to woo over Crypto.</p><p>Or snippets of what happens on the dropship behind closed doors. Or on the couch.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Bangalore | Anita Williams/Wattson | Natalie Paquette, Bangalore | Anita Williams/Wraith | Renee Blasey, Crypto | Park Tae Joon/Mirage | Elliott Witt, Lifeline | Ajay Che/Octane | Octavio Silva, Pathfinder/Revenant (Apex Legends), Wattson | Natalie Paquette/Bangalore | Anita Williams/Wraith | Renee Blasey, Wattson | Natalie Paquette/Wraith | Renee Blasey</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>80</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>240</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Mirage is Always Horny in Group Chat</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>NGL, after showing the first 7 lines to my discord I realized how much like our chat this insanity. Chapters will be infrequent, gotta be straight up with that. I've only planned for 2 but depending on comments I might do more.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>&lt;Group Chat: Ape Sex Leggings&gt;</b>
</p><p> </p><p><b>Decoy Daddy &lt;3: </b>Okay who wants to fuck tonight? ;)</p><p><b>Void Whispers: </b>this is your worst attempt to sext ever</p><p><b>Che: </b>Really Elliott? In the group chat?</p><p><b>OCTRAIN: </b>IN FRONT OF MY SALAD?!</p><p><b>pathy: </b>Hi friend, I am currently sitting next to you and would like to inform you that you have no salad and Elliott is not in the room with us!</p><p><b>OCTRAIN: </b>You… It's okay Path.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Hack and Slap has left the chat</b>
</p><p> </p><p><b>Che: </b>Great. You made Crypto leave. We finally got him to join and you pull this shit.</p><p><b>Decoy Daddy &lt;3: </b>Maybe I should take that as a yes and go visit him.</p><p><b>OCTRAIN: </b>Pls do!! I have a holocam in my room to record him beating your ass</p><p><b>2 Busy 4 This: </b>Oh? I would very much like to see this?</p><p><b>Decoy Daddy &lt;3: </b>More of me? &lt;&lt;&lt;333</p><p><b>2 Busy 4 This: </b>Oui more of you getting beaten by Crypto.</p><p><b>OCTRAIN: </b>WAY TO ROAST HIM NAT!</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Decoy Daddy &lt;3 has changed 2 Busy 4 This nickname to Electric Burns</b>
</p><p> </p><p><b>Decoy Daddy &lt;3: </b>I have no cream for this burn. Maybe One of you could come kiss me better ;*</p><p><b>Void Whisper: </b>Not in this dimension. Or any others that I can see.</p><p><b>Decoy Daddy &lt;3: </b>Why can't you all just admit your love for me?</p><p><b>Decoy Daddy &lt;3: </b>Oh wait.  I forgot</p><p><b>OCTRAIN:</b> oh no forgot what</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Decoy Daddy &lt;3 has added Drone View to the chat </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Decoy Daddy &lt;3 has changed Drone View nickname to Hack and Slap</b>
</p><p> </p><p><b>Hack and Slap: </b>I was hoping you'd leave me alone.</p><p><b>Decoy Daddy &lt;3: </b>Not until you admit your love for me, kid.</p><p><b>Void Whispers: </b>ooo hes not responding</p><p><b>Hack and Slap: </b>미안해 I was reading what happened.</p><p><b>Che: </b>What happened to your keyboard?</p><p><b>OCTRAIN: </b>Yo! It auto corrected again.</p><p><b>Hack and Slap: </b>….</p><p><b>Hack and Slap: </b>Come to my room and see what happens old man.</p><p><b>Decoy Daddy &lt;3: </b>Maybe I'll just go visit Natalie instead.</p><p><b>Electric Burns: </b>If you want. I'm currently in @toxic 's lab</p><p><b>Void Whispers:</b> It's like, 3 am.</p><p><b>Che: </b>You can come sleep with Tav and me.</p><p><b>Electric Burns: </b>Anita is here to pick me up. We are having a girl's night.</p><p><b>Void Whispers: </b>why wasn't I invited?</p><p><b>Che: </b>Cause you are a feral beast?</p><p><b>Void Whispers: </b>true</p><p><b>Electric Burns: </b>You can come cuddle in a little bit. But Ajay, stay with your boyfriend. Last time he got jealous and I had to paint his nails.</p><p><b>OCTRAIN: </b>It's actually pretty satisfying</p><p><b>toxic: </b>Children it is three in the fucking morning. Don't make me text Gibraltar!</p><p><b>OCTRAIN: </b>ooooo Caustic said FUCK!</p><p><b>Void Whispers: </b>caustic said fuck we better run</p><p><b>Electric Burns: </b>the f word!</p><p><b>Che: </b>Okay, I'm out. Good night.</p><p><b>OCTRAIN: </b>buenas noches</p><p><b>Electric Burns: </b>Oui, see you all tomorrow. @Void Whispers come by in ten</p><p><b>Void Whispers: </b>Gotcha</p><p><b>toxic: </b>Good.</p><p><b>Decoy Daddy &lt;3: </b>Crypto you still there?</p><p><b>Hack and Slap: </b>Unfortunately</p><p><b>Decoy Daddy &lt;3: </b>:*</p><p><b>Hack and Slap: </b>I guess you do have a deathwish.</p><hr/><p>
  <b>&lt;Private Chat: Witt-less and Drone View&gt;</b>
</p><p> </p><p><b>Witt-less: </b>Soooooooo</p><p><b>Drone View: </b>Just ask, idiot.</p><p><b>Witt-less: </b>Now that I've shaken any suspicion… Dtf?</p><p><b>Drone View: </b>You call that shaking any suspicion? Nobody even thought anything. If anything you just told the whole ship that you were horny.</p><p><b>Witt-less: </b>Sooo? If I get pegged tonight there is a whole ship of people who it could have been or I could have sexted someone on the outside.</p><p><b>Drone View: </b>You're an idiot.</p><p><b>Drone View: </b>Get the fuck over here and take off your clothes.</p><p><b>Witt-less: </b>;*</p><hr/><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <b>&lt;Group Chat: Ape Sex Leggings&gt;</b>
</p><p> </p><p><b>Shooter Ready: </b>Get up. We have the games in thirty.</p><p><b>Void Whispers: </b>ugh! yes mom</p><p><b>Shooter Ready: </b>Also, stop using the group chat to find hookups. Be more respectful like Rev and Path who use a PRIVATE chat for that.</p><p><b>Electric Burns: </b>How do you know that?</p><p><b>Mr. Kill Your Fam: </b>Yes, I would like to know that too. I'll make sure to silence you first if you don't have an answer.</p><p><b>Void Whispers: </b>would also like to know this</p><p><b>Shooter Ready: </b>Oh please. Like any of you lock your phones. Only people who don't want their shit seen lock their phones and I know most of you don't.</p><p><b>Shooter Ready: </b>And I saw you two on my way to pick up Natalie last night.</p><p><b>Electric Burns: </b>Oh? So that's why we went to my room instead of yours?</p><p><b>Hack and Slap: </b>I lock my phone. Why wouldn't you lock your phone?</p><p><b>Void Whispers: </b>I have nothing to hide.</p><p><b>Void Whispers: </b>can you pls change your name I can't take you srsly</p><p><b>Shooter Ready: </b>You've been texting Octane too much.</p><p><b>Hack and Slap: </b>You know if I change it he'll only change it to something worse.</p><p><b>Mr. Kill Your Fam: </b>You all type so fucking fast. Slow the fuck down! No. Wait I don't want to be here anymore.</p><p><b>Electric Burns: </b>Don't leave.  That just says that Elliott is allowed to change your nickname when he adds you back</p><p><b>Void Whispers: </b>im calling in reinforcements. @Chat Dad</p><p><b>Mr. Kill Your Fam: </b>Noted</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Chat Dad has changed Hack and Slap nickname to Hyeon</b>
</p><p> </p><p><b>Void Whispers: </b>thx</p><p><b>Chat Dad: </b>No problem ma brotha.</p><p><b>Shooter Ready: </b>Where is Elliott? Usually he fights the nicknames.</p><p><b>Void Whispers: </b>probably still sleeping. If he was as horny as his text suggested he might have gone to the bar last night</p><p><b>Hyeon: </b>What an idiot.</p><p><b>Hyeon: </b>Back to my question, why would you not lock your phone?</p><p><b>OCTRAIN: </b>Its easier to just tap it open while gaming.</p><p><b>Void Whispers: </b>come on nobody texts you</p><p><b>Electric Burns: </b>lol</p><p><b>OCTRAIN: </b>THAT'S NOT TRUE</p><p><b>Void Whispers: </b>your right Ajay is the only one who texts you my bad</p><p><b>OCTRAIN:</b> Crypto, amigo stick up for me wouldja? We text.</p><p><b>Hyeon: </b>Don't know. I lock my phone.</p><p><b>Void Whispers: </b>asdfghjk</p><p><b>Void Whispers: </b>i know elliott leaves his phone unlocked at home but he has so many nudes I'm afraid it's come crusted so I don't touch it</p><p><b>OCTRAIN: </b>EWW WTF?!</p><p><b>Shooter Ready: </b>Please, first thing in the morning</p><p><b>Electric Burns: </b>When I was younger everyone spelled it cum. Why don't they do that anymore?</p><p><b>Che: </b>What the hell? I was in the bathroom for five minutes.</p><p><b>Shooter Ready: </b>Just get ready for the games.</p><p><b>OCTRAIN: </b>That's a good question tho…</p><p><b>Void Whispers: </b>nat said cum. My heart stopped</p><p><b>Void Whispers: </b>where did I put my kuni</p><p><b>pathy:</b> Good Morning Friends!</p><p><b>Electric Burns: </b>I'll come help you look Wraith.</p><p><b>OCTRAIN: </b>SRSLY THO WHERE IS MIRAGE?</p><p><b>OCTRAIN: </b>Cap lock</p><hr/><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <b>&lt;Private Chat: Witt-less and Drone View&gt;</b>
</p><p> </p><p><b>Drone View: </b>You'd better get up before Octane starts barging in rooms.</p><p><b>Witt-less: </b>I'm up. I saw the whole thing.</p><p><b>Witt-less: </b>Kinda funny how things still spiral out if control still.</p><p><b>Witt-less: </b>Also good morning &lt;3</p><p><b>Drone View: </b>Mianhae, trying to keep Octane away. He's running down the hall looking for you.</p><p><b>Drone View: </b>&lt;3</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Octane the Naruto Fan, Crashing Date Night. Duh!</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I'm not completely sure if ill have more chapters of this and I know this one is short, but here you are.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>&lt;Private Chat&gt; </b>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>Witt-less has added The Mask Stays On to the chat </b>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Witt-less has added Reeeeeenee to the chat </b>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Witt-less has changed the chat name to Feral Beasts and Keeper</b>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Witt-less: </b>
  <span>YOU TWO WERE FUCKING IN BUNKER</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Reeeeeenee: </b>
  <span>and?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Reeeeeenee: </b>
  <span>you act like you've never fucked in kings canyon</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Reeeeeenee: </b>
  <span>i know you have you horny bastard</span>
</p>
<p><b>Witt-less: </b><span>I've</span> <span>yet to unleash my dick in the middle of a match. </span></p>
<p>
  <b>Reeeeeenee: </b>
  <span>are you mad cause we let you die?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Reeeeeenee: </b>
  <span>we still won the match </span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Witt-less: </b>
  <span>That's not why I'm mad. I'm not mad. But could you guys… </span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Wittless: </b>
  <span>Not be in the middle of doing whatever it is you two do while I'm down?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Reeeeeenee: </b>
  <span>okay, but like what's the difference between getting some and telling everyone youre looking to get some???</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Reeeeeenee: </b>
  <span>Bloth could you back me up here? </span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>The Mask Stays On: </b>
  <span>Are either of you going to the store? Pls buy bird food.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Reeeeeenee: </b>
  <span>real helpful</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Witt-less: </b>
  <span>I don't know why I try.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Witt-less: </b>
  <span>Point is, no fucking during the match please.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>The Mask Stays On: </b>
  <span>I make no promises.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <b>&lt;Group Chat: Ape Sex Leggings&gt;</b>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>OCTRAIN: </b>
  <span>Can we talk about the fact that @Decoy Daddy &lt;3 was making hearts and kissy faces at Nat? I for one know that he's been leaving his room late at night</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Che: </b>
  <span>That's because you don't know what sleep is.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Electric Burns: </b>
  <span>He wasn't making kissy faces at me. I was fitting with Nita. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Decoy Daddy &lt;3: </b>
  <span>Butt out.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Che: </b>
  <span>Elliott?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>OCTRAIN: </b>
  <span>Mirage????</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Void Whispers: </b>
  <span>elliot wtf??</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Electric Burns: </b>
  <span>Elliott did your phone get hacked?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Chat Dad: </b>
  <span>Oh? I'm interested now. What's goin on?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Shooter Ready: </b>
  <span>Wow, he really just told you to mind your own business. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Decoy Daddy &lt;3: </b>
  <span>I SWEAR THAT WASN'T ME! </span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>OCTRAIN: </b>
  <span>who the fuck are you with?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Chat Dad: </b>
  <span>Language</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>OCTRAIN: </b>
  <span>whom?? </span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Chat Dad: </b>
  <span>Okay, no. I'll just look the other way.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Hyeon:</b>
  <span> XD</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>OCTRIAN: </b>
  <span>????</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Electric Burns: </b>
  <span>Did Crypto just 'XD'? </span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Void Whispers: </b>
  <span>r you 2 hanging out</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Hyeon: </b>
  <span>I took his phone, but he managed to grab mine.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>OCTRAIN: </b>
  <span>Since when do you two hang out?</span>
  <b> Decoy Daddy &lt;3: </b>
  <span>Since I discovered Naruto.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>OCTRAIN: </b>
  <span>YOU HAVE NARUTO??</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Void Whispers: </b>
  <span>whats naruto?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Hyeon: </b>
  <span>Yes.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Hyeon: </b>
  <span>Whats Naruto! Come yo my room now!!!</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>OCTRAIN: </b>
  <span>I'M BRINGING SNACKS AND MONSTERS</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Electric Burns: </b>
  <span>Crypto let a typo through, the world is ending</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Che: </b>
  <span>Wait. Is this an open invite? Octavio used to make me watch Naruto when we were younger. I might pop in.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Hyeon: </b>
  <span>The world is not ending and yes, it's an open invite. </span>
</p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <b>&lt;Private Chat: Witt-less and Drone View&gt;</b>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Witt-less: </b>
  <span>Really, everyone just barged in to watch Naruto of all things. Now I'm stuck on the other side of the room. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Drone View: </b>
  <span>Sorry, I was just trying to get them to shut up. I always forget that Octane stays up all night too. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Witt-less: </b>
  <span>You both survive on energy drinks and yet you both forget about each other being up at all times. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Drone View: </b>
  <span>I've only caught him and Ajay once and it was a complete accident that I kept out of the group chat. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Drone View: </b>
  <span>Don't actually laugh out loud idiot, now everyone is wondering who texted you!</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Witt-less: </b>
  <span>I didn't mean to. Let's just focus on the show. We can have us time when they leave.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Drone View: </b>
  <span>I'm about to kick them out. Fuck being secretive.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Witt-less: </b>
  <span>oh no! What happened to my secretive boy? Whatever will I do now that the mystery of who fucks Mirage is gone. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Drone View: </b>
  <span>I can't wait to see their faces when they find out that Mr Elliott Witt does not peg but in fact gets pegged. </span>
</p>
<p><b>Witt-less: </b>Hey! I get you sometimes! Besides, do you really think anyone would be surprised? I think they would be more shocked how you are one of two people on this ship I've actually fucked.</p>
<p><b>Witt-less: </b>Wait? Does BH count? We never actually did the do. And the mask stayed on. The mask always stays on.</p>
<p><b>Drone View: </b>I think Bloodhound counts more than Renee. She's a wild animal. </p>
<p><b>Witt-less: </b>But enough about them. Think about all the stuff you're  going to do to me once they fix that fucking bridge.</p>
<p><b>Drone View: </b>You mean in like five episodes?</p>
<p><b>Witt-less: </b>HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE TO FIX A FUXKING BRIDGE???? </p>
<p><b>Drone View: </b>Welcome to Naruto.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Take them out! On a date? Or as in murder? Yeah no, it's a date now Rev, your words.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>You ever see something so stupid you have to make something equally as stupid? That me right now, after trying to proofread chapter 2.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>&lt;Group Chat: Ape Sex Leggings&gt;</b>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p><b>Here 4 REVENGE: </b>I swear, the next person who takes the strawberry yogurt from the frig will be missing more than a finger when I'm done with them</p>
<p><b>Electric Burns: </b>Are we out of yogurt again?</p>
<p><b>Here 4 REVENGE: </b>Yes and I have a good idea of who is stealing it</p>
<p><b>Che: </b>Octavio</p>
<p><b>Chat Dad: </b>Mirage?</p>
<p><b>Void Whispers: </b>oh def octane</p>
<p><b>OCTRAIN: </b>WTF</p>
<p><b>Here 4 REVENGE: </b>Oh? I thought it was Crypto.</p>
<p><b>OCTRAIN:</b> kekekeke. What would he want with that ?</p>
<p><b>Electric Burns: </b>Hyeon and yogurt in the same room? Not likely.</p>
<p><b>Here 4 REVENGE: </b>Am I missing something here?</p>
<p><b>Che: </b>You've never seen his face when there is yogurt around. Octavio and I took him for frozen yogurt once and I thought he was dying.</p>
<p><b>Shooter Ready: </b>I could go for some honestly. Date night anyone?</p>
<p><b>Void Whispers: </b>u paying</p>
<p><b>Electric Burns: </b>Renee when do you ever pay? You might be rich from the games, but we all know you're feral and don't know what money is.</p>
<p><b>Shooter Ready: </b>Yes I'm paying.</p>
<p><b>OCTRAIN: </b>Renee is feral spread the word. Maybe her sponsors and managers will stop loving her so much</p>
<p><b>Che: </b>Where is the lie?</p>
<p><b>Void Whispers: </b>Are shirts optional?</p>
<p><b>Electric Burns: </b>NO!</p>
<p><b>Shooter Ready: </b>We can still teach her to be human. Don't give up.</p>
<p><b>Void Whispers: </b>how long can the frozen yogurt go in a dumpster till it's cottage cheese</p>
<p><b>OCTRAIN: </b>There's no hope</p>
<p><b>Electric Burns: </b>Please put a shirt on and let's go before I can't.</p>
<p><b>Shooter Ready: </b>I give up. My training has not prepared me for this.</p>
<p><b>Here 4 REVENGE: </b>AND YOU ALL LET HER WANDER THE SHIP FREELY???</p>
<p><b>pathy: </b>Hello friends! I would like to inform you that it is I who had the last strawberry yogurt. There was a cute cat outside when I went into town today and it was the only thing I could give it. I will replace it with hugs and high fives but also more yogurt when I next go out</p>
<p><b>Buy Birdfood: </b>Path you're going out?</p>
<p><b>path: </b>Not at the moment friend, but I will remember to buy bird food when I go out.</p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <b>&lt;Private Chat: Insomniacs Rise&gt;</b>
</p>
<p><b>Energy Drinker: </b>you still coming for game night?</p>
<p><b>Energy Drinker: </b>amigo?</p>
<p><b>Energy Drinker: </b>Crypto???</p>
<p><b>Drone View: </b>I'm sleeping. Shh.</p>
<p><b>Energy Drinker: </b>What? We can't be Insomniacs anymore if you are cheating on me with sleep</p>
<p><b>Energy Drinker: </b>What are you really doin</p>
<p><b>Energy Drinker: </b>TELL ME I WON'T TELL!</p>
<p><b>Drone View: </b>You would be the last person I told if I was doing anything wrong, which I'm not!</p>
<p><b>Energy Drinker: </b>oooooo is it something sexy???</p>
<p><b>Energy Drinker: </b>Tell me what are you wearing right now?</p>
<p><b>Drone View: </b>Khakis.</p>
<p><b>Energy Drinker: </b>Ah ha. There's the real Crypto. So, my room? Midnight?</p>
<p><b>Energy Drinker: </b>Also everyone is talking about your yogurt thing. Not srry</p>
<p><b>Drone View: </b>Ya I saw.</p>
<p><b>Drone View: </b>Thank you so much for reminding me about that.</p>
<p><b>Drone View: </b>Also, what if I had a date? What if I had plans?</p>
<p><b>Energy Drinker: </b>U have a date?!!?</p>
<p><b>Energy Drinker: </b>just come over after duh</p>
<p><b>Energy Drinker: </b>u think Ajay and I aren't doing stuff? come on, sex first video games after</p>
<p><b>Drone View: </b>I see you have life all figured out.</p>
<p><b>Energy Drinker: </b>come game with me.</p>
<p><b>Energy Drinker: </b>i have energy drinks</p>
<p><b>Drone View: </b>When don't you?</p>
<p><b>Energy Drinker: </b>energy drinks I'm willing to share</p>
<p><b>Drone View: </b>I'll be there at 00:15</p>
<p><b>Energy Drinker: </b>lolololol, why is everyone here such cheapskates????</p>
<hr/>
<p>
  <b>&lt;Group Chat: Ape Sex Leggings&gt;</b>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p><b>Decoy Daddy &lt;3: </b>You all went out without me? How could you</p>
<p>
  <b>&lt;Lonely Holo has changed Decoy Daddy nickname to Lonely Holo&gt; </b>
</p>
<p><b>Lonely Holo: </b>I am so lonely. All by myself!!!!!</p>
<p><b>Hyeon: </b>Those are two very different songs.</p>
<p><b>Lonely Holo: </b>Oh my good buddy. You are still here with me. We can hang out and cuddle and watch Netflix and eat everything in the kitchen. We could do manicures and pedicures and brush each other's hair. And you could let me take a screwdriver to you just to make sure you aren't actually a robot because I'm pretty sure you are.</p>
<p><b>Hyeon: </b>Someone please take me out.</p>
<p><b>Toxic: </b>As in murder or?</p>
<p><b>Hyeon: </b>Yes.</p>
<p><b>Lonely Holo: </b>Yes</p>
<p><b>Mr. Kill Your Fam: </b>It's no fun killing those who are already dead</p>
<p><b>Toxic: </b>Which only means that the next games we play I will take no joy in killing you. But results are everything. Tell me simulacrum, do you still feel pain?</p>
<p><b>Hyeon: </b>I mean, I don't know. I have fun killing this old man.</p>
<p><b>Lonely Holo: </b>Brat</p>
<p><b>Mr. Kill Your Fam: </b>You wish.</p>
<p><b>Toxic: </b>I'll keep that in mind. In the meantime, Crypto I could use a hand in my lab. If you are that desperate to get away.</p>
<p><b>Lonely Holo: </b>Oh no you don't. Where Crypto goes I go! I'm not being left alone again.</p>
<p><b>Hyeon: </b>He's chasing me down the hall.</p>
<p><b>Mr. Kill Your Fam: </b>It might have been easier to kill them before asking them on a date.</p>
<p><b>Toxic: </b>I revoke my invitation. I will wait for Ms. Paquette to return home.</p>
<p><b>Lonely Holo: </b>Look what you did Rev! Now Crypto and I can't have a date with caustic.</p>
<p><b>Hyeon: </b>What's wrong with you? How could you do this to us?</p>
<p><b>Lonely Holo: </b>That just means he has to make us out.</p>
<p><b>Mr. Kill Your Fam: </b>On a date?</p>
<p><b>Hyeon: </b>Your words not ours.</p>
<p><b>Lonely Holo: </b>Well if you insist.</p>
<p><b>Hyeon: </b>Might want to grab Pathfinder too.</p>
<p><b>Lonely Holo: </b>Ugh! I'm surrounded by robots.</p>
<p><b>Hyeon: </b>What about me?</p>
<p><b>Lonely Holo: </b>Well I guess you do count. I mean Hack is the most human out of the three of you.</p>
<p><b>pathy: </b>Oh? Are we going out friends?</p>
<p><b>Lonely Holo: </b>Yes, pick a place. Rev is paying.</p>
<p><b>pathy: </b>Oh good. I can buy bird food.</p>
<p><b>Hyeon: </b>ELLIOTT! Put a shirt on. You are not Renee!</p>
<p><b>Mr. Kill Your Fam: </b>Caustic, you're coming too. This is your fault.</p>
<p><b>Toxic: </b>Not even in your wildest fantasies would I ever go on a date with you and your boyfriend and two children.</p>
<p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Enter RaRaRamya</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Rampart has joined the chat mates.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I'm legit posting on my break at work so it's a little short. </p><p>Can we talk about how this cursed ass fic has over 1000 views? Can we talk about this???</p><p>Thanks so much yall.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>&lt;Group Chat: Ape Sex Leggings&gt; </b>
</p><p>
  <b>Hyeon: </b>
  <span>So, normally I wouldn't be the one to out anyone, but…</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Hyeon: </b>
  <span>Did anyone else catch Gibby jerking off on the couch? </span>
</p><p>
  <b>Void Whispers: </b>
  <span>really you almost made me drop my croissant</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Che: </b>
  <span>How late does one have to stay up to catch Gibby jerking off?</span>
</p><p>
  <b>OCTRAIN: </b>
  <span>okay okay okay. But was it the show he was watching or did he have his boyfriend's picture? These are things I need to know for research </span>
</p><p>
  <b>Lonely Holo: </b>
  <span>Who hasn't jerked off or fucked on the common room couch at least once? </span>
</p><p>
  <b>Hyeon: </b>
  <span>Are you kidding me?</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Electric Burns: </b>
  <span>On the couch? No. In the living room where anyone could have walked in… different story altogether.  </span>
</p><p>
  <b>OCTRAIN: </b>
  <span>@</span>
  <b>Che </b>
  <span>he is usually at it around 5 am</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Che: </b>
  <span>That was rhetorical. </span>
</p><p>
  <b>Hyeon:</b>
  <span> Great, now everytime I look at that couch I'm going to have to know that most of the ship either fucked on it or has pleasured themselves.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>OCTRAIN: </b>
  <span>IT'S CALLED THE CUM COUCH FOR A REASON</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Void Whispers: </b>
  <span>Crypto pls dont say pleasured that just makes it weird</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Lonely Holo: </b>
  <span>Pleasured ???? Don't use that word</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Chat Dad: </b>
  <span>I'm going to ban you all. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>…</span>
</p><p>
  <b>&lt;Group Chat: Ape Sex Leggings&gt;</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Lonely Holo </b>
  <span>Added </span>
  <b>RaRaRamya </b>
  <span>to Apex Sex Leggings </span>
</p><p>
  <b>Lonely Holo </b>
  <span>has changed </span>
  <b>PubTime!!! </b>
  <span>Name to PubTime!!!</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>PubTime!!!: </b>
  <span>Desperate enough to add me here, mates? </span>
</p><p>
  <b>Lonely Holo: </b>
  <span>Desperate, lonely, and horny. </span>
</p><p>
  <b>Shooter Ready: </b>
  <span>Elliott we've talked about you sexting the whole group chat.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Chat Dad: </b>
  <span>I think you have a problem</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Void Whispers: </b>
  <span>Maybe his real problem is his hand wants a divorce </span>
</p><p>
  <b>Toxic: </b>
  <span>I'm sure we've talked about this Elliott.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Chat Dad: </b>
  <span>RENEE!!</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Void Whispers: </b>
  <span>srry</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Lonely Holo: </b>
  <span>What? No! Stop making me look desperate!</span>
</p><p>
  <b>PubTime: </b>
  <span>Little late for that one mate.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>OCTRAIN: 👀👀</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Che: </b>
  <span>Elliott can we have one legend who you don't sleep with? Just pick one already </span>
</p><p>
  <b>Chat Dad: </b>
  <span>Crypto.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Shooter Ready: </b>
  <span>Crypto.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Void Whispers: </b>
  <span>Crypto. </span>
</p><p>
  <b>Hyeon: </b>
  <span>Excuse me, what? </span>
</p><p>
  <b>Che: </b>
  <span>The family has decided. Crypto you are to be sacrificed to keep Elliott at bay.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Hyeon: </b>
  <span>Over my dead body.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Lonely Holo: </b>
  <span>Why can't you let me be horny on main? Just leave me alone. Now come sacrifice. I demand more of that one show.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>OCTRAIN: </b>
  <span>which one</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Lonely Holo: </b>
  <span>Idk, there is a girl and a dude but she fell through a well to meet him and I have no idea what's going on.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Hyeon: </b>
  <span>He fell asleep.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>OCTRAIN: </b>
  <span>ANIME NIGHT AT CRYPTO'S ROOM!</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Void Whispers: </b>
  <span>i mean I'm not doing anything </span>
</p><p>
  <b>Che: </b>
  <span>I'm down.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Shooter Ready: </b>
  <span>I'll grab Natalie</span>
</p><p>
  <b>PubTime: </b>
  <span>Is this a common thing</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Hyeon: </b>
  <span>I wish it wasn't.</span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Loba VS Octane: Heels Addition</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This one is a special "I'm sorry for not updating this week" chapter. Also, I'm just sorry for this entire chapter. I meant to add some plot but Octane disagreed.</p><p>I do take chapter requests, but for the most part this is just going off what I think is funny. Is this whole story just me laughing at my own horrible jokes? Maybe.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>&lt;Private Chat: Gurls Gurls Gurls&gt;</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Energy Drinker: </b>
  <span>So, ladys. have u noticed Elliott not flirting as much?,?</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Reeeeeenee: </b>
  <span>y</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Local Healer: </b>
  <span>I mean, he still flirts with everyone?</span>
</p><p>
  <b>IQ 180: </b>
  <span>Wasn't he just flirting with Ramya the other day in group chat? </span>
</p><p>
  <b>Local Healer: 👆👆</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Energy Drinker: </b>
  <span>No but listen. he used to flirt in the guys chat too but he doesn't anymore. like at all. </span>
</p><p>
  <b>IQ 180: </b>
  <span>But Elliott always flirts. With everyone.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>One-Shot: </b>
  <span>And EVERYTHING. </span>
</p><p>
  <b>IQ 180: </b>
  <span>Lol Anita</span>
</p><p>
  <b>She-wolf: </b>
  <span>Wait what?</span>
</p><p>
  <b>RaRaRamya: </b>
  <span>Is that a derogatory thing? Really Nita?</span>
</p><p>
  <b>One-Shot: </b>
  <span>What? No? It's the truth. </span>
</p><p>
  <b>Reeeeeenee: </b>
  <span>no, look he fucked a pumpkin</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Energy Drinker: </b>
  <span>ah the pumpkin. didn't he make hound dress up as a pumpkin for Halloween then rail them in swamps? </span>
</p><p>
  <b>Reeeeeenee: </b>
  <span>yah I remember that </span>
</p><p>
  <b>IQ 180: </b>
  <span>Speaking of Bloodhound, which chat are they in? </span>
</p><p>
  <b>Energy Drinker: </b>
  <span>Both! I would never exclude BH. </span>
</p><p>
  <b>The Mask Stays On: </b>
  <span>Artur and I like the drama</span>
</p><p>
  <b>IQ 180: </b>
  <span>So, wait. Are we worried because Elliott isn't being flirty enough? I never thought the day would come. </span>
</p><p>
  <b>Energy Drinker: </b>
  <span>yee that's why I've called you all the ladies, and BH here today. I think Elliott has someone srs. </span>
</p><p>
  <b>Local Healer: </b>
  <span>Is that even possible? </span>
</p><p>
  <b>Reeeeeenee: </b>
  <span>is it some1 on the ship???? </span>
</p><p>
  <b>She-wolf: </b>
  <span>How does one fuck a pumpkin?</span>
</p><p>
  <b>RaRaRamya: </b>
  <span>Would also like to know</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Reeeeeenee: </b>
  <span>WAIT I THINK I HAVE A VIDEO </span>
</p><p>
  <b>IQ 180: </b>
  <span>Still? I thought he made you delete that. </span>
</p><p>
  <b>Local Healer: </b>
  <span>As if drunk texts don't get shared so they can never truly be deleted. </span>
</p><p>
  <b>She-wolf: </b>
  <span>Better question. Why is Octane in the girl's chat?</span>
</p><p>
  <b>IQ 180: </b>
  <span>WOW! </span>
</p><p>
  <b>Reeeeeenee: </b>
  <span>rooood</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Local Healer: </b>
  <span>agdkalgks</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Energy Drinker: </b>
  <span>I'm more woman than you'll ever be.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>She-wolf: </b>
  <span>You wanna say that to my face?</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Energy Drinker: </b>
  <span>Want me to wear your heels so I can look you in the eyes?</span>
</p><p>
  <b>The Mask Stays On: </b>
  <span>*munch munch munch*</span>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <b>&lt;Group Chat: Ape Sex Leggings&gt;</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Lonely Holo: </b>
  <span>Where is everyone?</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Lonely Holo: </b>
  <span>Hello?</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Electric Burns: </b>
  <span>We're all watching Octavio fight Loba in six inch heels. </span>
</p><p>
  <b>Lonely Holo: </b>
  <span>Fucking what?????</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Void Whispers: </b>
  <span>hes still shorter than her</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Lonely Holo: </b>
  <span>How did this happen??</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Buy Birdfood: </b>
  <span>*munch munch munch*</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Che: </b>
  <span>Same</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Toxic: </b>
  <span>It's a rather interesting fight, though I don't agree with such barbaric methods.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Hyeon: </b>
  <span>This is really interfering with my Overwatch time </span>
</p><p>
  <b>Electric Burns: </b>
  <span>Who has money on Loba? I think she's losing.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Che: </b>
  <span>Lol</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Shooter Ready: </b>
  <span>Why would anyone put money on her when we've all seen Octane fight off that prowler in nothing but CFM boots?</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Chat Dad: </b>
  <span>Should I break them up at some point?</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Void Whispers: </b>
  <span>U wanna get between that? Have fun dying</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Chat Dad: </b>
  <span>You make a very compelling argument. I'll just wait them out and see what happens.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Che: </b>
  <span>I have no plans for tonight and the infirmary is always open.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Lonely Holo: </b>
  <span>I literally went without my phone for ten minutes how did life come to this</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Lonely Holo: </b>
  <span>Wait how nice are the heels?</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Lonely Holo: </b>
  <span>Is Octavio wearing anything else ;)</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Hyeon: </b>
  <span>Pervert. </span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. When Pathfinder Trusts Birds.... It's okay Rev, he's just a little late.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>So this chapter was brought to you by <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/clocky/pseuds/clocky">clocky</a> because Revfinder needs more love being one of the only monogamist pairings in this story. </p>
<p>I also take chapter requests.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>&lt;Private Chat: Two Robots Five Feet Apart Being Gay&gt; </b>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>YES, I Fuck: </b>
  <span>Path, what are you doing </span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Soft Fuck: </b>
  <span>I am playing with the birds again. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Soft Fuck: </b>
  <span>Did you change my name in our chat again?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>YES, I Fuck: </b>
  <span>noooooooo</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>YES, I Fuck: </b>
  <span>Maybe</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>YES, I Fuck: </b>
  <span>Fuck you</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Soft Fuck: </b>
  <span>Soft? </span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>YES, I Fuck: </b>
  <span>You're starting to learn</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Soft Fuck: </b>
  <span>I always learn with you </span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Soft Fuck: </b>
  <span>Was there a reason for your text? </span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>YES, I Fuck: </b>
  <span>Yeah. I was spying in the girls</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Soft Fuck: </b>
  <span>Bloodhound told me they were having a cat fight. I asked then to stop letting cats fight. One of them could be hurt, then they just laughed and said not that kind of cat fight. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>YES, I Fuck: </b>
  <span>Don't worry I'll teach you what they meant.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>YES, I Fuck: </b>
  <span>But that isn't the reason I texted. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>YES, I Fuck: </b>
  <span>I paid Caustic 50 bucks to team up with us next game so he and I could have a kill off. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>YES, I Fuck: </b>
  <span>Soooo</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>YES, I Fuck: </b>
  <span>You think….</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>YES, I Fuck: </b>
  <span>Maybe I could get a kiss for good luck?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Soft Fuck: </b>
  <span>Where are you? </span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Soft Fuck: </b>
  <span>I'm coming to you stay where you are.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Soft Fuck: </b>
  <span>I will use the beacon to find you.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Soft Fuck: </b>
  <span>Stay There!</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Soft Fuck: </b>
  <span>I'm on my way!!!</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Soft Fuck: </b>
  <span>GRAPPLING</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>YES, I Fuck: </b>
  <span>ha, dork</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>YES, I Fuck: </b>
  <span>I fucking love you nerd</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Soft Fuck: </b>
  <span>I love you too</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Soft Fuck: </b>
  <span>But don't move.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>&lt;Group Chat: Ape Sex Leggings&gt;</b>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Hyeon: </b>
  <span>Did anyone else just hear Pathfinder scream fuck?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Void Whispers: </b>
  <span>Hyeon u kno how to say the fuck word? here I thought you were a goodie goodie</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Electric Burns: </b>
  <span>Renee what the fuck</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>OCTRAIN: </b>
  <span>literally what the fuck Renee</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Hyeon: </b>
  <span>I have sworn before, multiple times, in your fucking presence Renee. Why are you so surprised?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Void Whispers: </b>
  <span>u speak so proper all the time I forget you can swear.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Lonely Holo: </b>
  <span>Are we just going to gloss over the fact that tiny baby Natalie just said fuck?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Shooter Ready: </b>
  <span>I've heard her say worse</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Che: </b>
  <span>Yeah, same.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Electric Burns: </b>
  <span>I say all kinds of inappropriate things. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>OCTRAIN: </b>
  <span>100% Can confirm Natalie says fuck more than Hyeon</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Hyeon: </b>
  <span>This is too much. Both Natalie and Pathfinder can say the fuck word and nobody says anything, but when I do, all hell breaks loose.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Shooter Ready: </b>
  <span>Pfft </span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Che: </b>
  <span>Oh god, point proved.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>OCTRAIN: </b>
  <span>THE FUCK WORD</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Void Whispers: </b>
  <span>lol the fuck word</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>pathy: </b>
  <span>Hello friends, I would like to confirm that fuck is a word in my data bank that I have learned to use when accidently grappling into windows. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Electric Burns: </b>
  <span>Path are you okay?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Void Whispers: </b>
  <span>u good</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Shooter Ready: </b>
  <span>All gucci path?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>pathy: </b>
  <span>The birds have betrayed me.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Lonely Holo: </b>
  <span>HAHAHAHAHAHA!</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>&lt;Lonely Holo </b>
  <span>has changed </span>
  <b>Another Window Victim </b>
  <span>name to </span>
  <b>Another Window Victim&gt;</b>
</p>
<p>
  <b>OCTRAIN: </b>
  <span>path is a bird. It's canon</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Void Whispers: </b>
  <span>Path dont die.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Electric Burns: </b>
  <span>Yeah, don't die like Elliott's humor. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Another Window Victim: </b>
  <span>I don't think I will. Besides. If I were anything like Elliott's humor I would be long gone. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Mr. Kill Your Fam: </b>
  <span>Ha!</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Lonely Holo: </b>
  <span>Don't bully me too pathfinder!</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Toxic: </b>
  <span>Is it bullying if it's the truth?</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Arter mocks cats, but Bloodhound knows all</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>So this chapter was brought to you by <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/HFyornT/pseuds/HFyornT">HFyornT</a> and I'm not sure if it was done right. But Crypto being lowkey jealous is my jam. </p>
<p>I take requests for this story, if you have something you'd like yo see this cursed chat talk about on the dropship.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>&lt;Private Chat: Tiny Tracker and Big Game&gt;</b>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>The Mask Stays On: </b>
  <span>Send cat pictures. Arter and I would like to mock them.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>The Mask Stays On: </b>
  <span>Yes. We mock your cat. Please do not misunderstand. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>The Mask Stays On: </b>
  <span>It's very important for Arter's confidence. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Drone View: </b>
  <span>Bloth… it's three in the morning. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Drone View: </b>
  <span>Why do you have to pick three am to be the time to mock my cat's existence?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>The Mask Stays On: </b>
  <span>It's not like you sleep. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>The Mask Stays On: </b>
  <span>We mock cats at all hours. But we picked this time because we knew that Elliott would be asleep.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Drone View: </b>
  <span>Why does that matter?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>The Mask Stays On: </b>
  <span>I too was foolish enough to be captivated by his charms, but he couldn't keep a beast like me chained to him. As a kitten you'll be finicky but you won't leave him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Drone View: </b>
  <span>What the absolute fuck are you talking about?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>The Mask Stays On: …</b>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Drone View: </b>
  <span>You can't just send dots and pretend that is a response. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>The Mask Stays On: </b>
  <span>Is that a no on the cat pictures?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Drone View: </b>
  <span>Is this some sort of psychological warfare?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Drone View: </b>
  <span>&lt;</span>
  <em>
    <span>Image Attachment&gt; </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <b>The Mask Stays On: </b>
  <span>And now we mock!</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>&lt;Private Chat: &lt;3 &lt;3 &lt;3&gt;</b>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Drone View: </b>
  <span>ELLIOTT </span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Witt-less: </b>
  <span>Look, it was one time. I was on shrooms. I still do shrooms, but we lock all the pumpkins up now.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Drone View: </b>
  <span>Wait, what?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Witt-less: …</b>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Witt-less: </b>
  <span>I mean… What's wrong? &lt;3</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Drone View: </b>
  <span>No, no. This can wait. Let's go back to what you were saying. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Witt-less: </b>
  <span>No, shhh, it's in the past now. I'm a stronger man. It won't happen again. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Drone View: </b>
  <span>Tell me... &lt;3</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Witt-less: </b>
  <span>Did you just… did you just use a heart emoji to make me tell about my embarrassing past? Haha, it won't work on me. I'm stronger than that.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Witt-less: </b>
  <span>Bloodhound used to use hearts in me all the time. They have only made me stronger.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Drone View: </b>
  <span>So…</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Drone View: </b>
  <span>How serious were you about Bloodhound? </span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Witt-less: </b>
  <span>Why?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Witt-less: </b>
  <span>You worried ;)</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Witt-less: </b>
  <span>Crypto?</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>&lt;Group Chat: Ape Sex Leggings&gt;</b>
</p>
<p>
  <b>OCTRAIN: </b>
  <span>IT'S MOVIE NIGHT. WHAT WE WQTCHIN GAYS</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Electric Burns: </b>
  <span>Woah, the amount if typos in that </span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Void Whispers: </b>
  <span>i see nothing wrong </span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>OCTRAIN: </b>
  <span>CRYPTO LET ME THE FUCK IN. I KNOW YOU'RE HOME. MOVIE NIGHT ALWAYS HAPPENS IN YOUR ROOM. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Hyeon: </b>
  <span>I wish you guys would just use the common room.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Shooter Ready: </b>
  <span>Octavio, we've talked about the cap lock.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>OCTRAIN: </b>
  <span>srry..</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>OCTRAIN: </b>
  <span>we never use the common room. Gibby faps on the couch. Before you came we used elliotts room</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Hyeon: </b>
  <span>Oh?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Chat Dad: </b>
  <span>I would like to once look at this chat and not see it having me fapping on the common room couch.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Mr. Kill Your Fam: </b>
  <span>Then stop doing it!</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Chat Dad: </b>
  <span>Look, brutha, I earned the title chat dad. That means I can jack off where I damn well please.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Void Whispers: </b>
  <span>It's true</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Che: </b>
  <span>It came with the title.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Electric Burns: </b>
  <span>Yeah, I remember. There was a vote about it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>OCTRAIN: </b>
  <span>YEE</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>OCTRAIN: </b>
  <span>anyway Hyeon let me in</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Hyeon: </b>
  <span>Why don't you just go watch movies in Elliott's room. I'm sure he's love it </span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Electric Burns: </b>
  <span>???</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Che: </b>
  <span>The fuck just happened?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Void Whispers: </b>
  <span>Is that jealousy I smell?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>PubTime!!: </b>
  <span>Don't they actually have to be mates for that?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Hyeon: </b>
  <span>Why would I be jealous? I just don't want to join in on movie night. And I'm not getting kicked out of my own room.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>&lt;Private Chat: Gurls Gurls Gurls&gt;</b>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Reeeeeenee: </b>
  <span>i smell drama</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Local Healer: </b>
  <span>Me too.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>IQ 180: </b>
  <span>Wait, are Elliott and Hyeon even friends? They've been hanging out a lot, but we all live together and it's impossible to know for sure.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Energy Drinker: </b>
  <span>i hang out with Hyeon more than Elliott does and we are just barely friends.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>RaRaRamya: </b>
  <span>They don't seem like friends. Their friendliest moments happen in the group chat. In person they don't seem close.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>She-wolf: </b>
  <span>they aren't fucking?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Reeeeeenee: </b>
  <span>whut? hell no.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>IQ 180: </b>
  <span>No way. Elliott is a huge flirt. I don't think he's Crypto's type. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>She-wolf: </b>
  <span>Well he seemed upset the other day when we were talking about Octane in heels. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Energy Drinker: </b>
  <span>Nah, he was just jelly he's never seen my boots. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>The Mask Stays On: </b>
  <span>hmmm</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Local Healer: </b>
  <span>Anything to add Bloth?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>The Mask Stays On: </b>
  <span>Just enjoying the drama.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>&lt;Private Chat: Feral Beasts and Keeper&gt;</b>
</p>
<p>
  <b>The Mask Stays On: </b>
  <span>Elliott.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Witt-less: </b>
  <span>Oh god, this chat just reminds me i caught you two fucking while I was down.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>The Mask Stays On: </b>
  <span>Focus.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>The Mask Stays On: </b>
  <span>Are you and Crypto having sex</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Reeeeeenee: </b>
  <span>OHMIGOD</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Witt-less: </b>
  <span>That is so far out of left field. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>The Mask Stays On: </b>
  <span>That is enough of an answer for me.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Reeeeeenee: </b>
  <span>wait seriously?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Witt-less: </b>
  <span>No matter what I say you're going to think what you want. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Innocent Souls? Haha, not in the chat.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>So this chapter comes straight from <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/CalamitousOrange/pseuds/CalamitousOrange">Indie, my better half</a>. They needed some BH and Path moments.</p><p>Remember y'all can always leave a request for the next chatper.</p><p>Any questions about what I'm willing to write or updates ( or previews because I post a lot of those) y'all should be lookin <a href="https://www.tumblr.com/blog/ian-the-existential-crisis">Right Here</a></p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>&lt;Private Chat: Birds of a Feather&gt;</b>
</p><p> </p><p><b>Pathfinder: </b>Ash messaged me again friend.</p><p><b>Pathfinder: </b>I told her she would find another robot but she keeps texting.</p><p><b>The Mask Stays On: </b>Do you wish for me to slatra?</p><p><b>Pathfinder: </b>Do you think it would help?</p><p><b>The Mask Stays On: </b>Yes.</p><p><b>The Mask Stays On: </b>It would definitely help.</p><p><b>Pathfinder: </b>But you didn't have to slatra Renee or Elliott.</p><p><b>The Mask Stays On: </b>You say that like I don't kill Elliott every chance I get.</p><p><b>The Mask Stays On: </b>Especially when he's on my team.</p><p><b>Pathfinder: </b>Well… I get paired with Elliott a lot. And he may be my best friend, but he's harder to keep alive than ignore when he's whining.</p><p><b>The Mask Stays On: </b>He likes to run in head first. Doesn't care if anyone is there to back him up, he just goes.</p><p><b>Pathfinder: </b>Rev does the same thing. Even when we make a plan, he shoots his totem and bolts the second we are near anyone.</p><p><b>The Mask Stays On: </b>Boys are dumb</p><p><b>Pathfinder</b>: You know what's not dumb.</p><p><b>The Mask Stays On: </b>BIRDS!</p><p><b>Pathfinder: </b>BIRDS!!!</p><p><b>The Mask Stays On: </b>Boys are dumb get birds instead</p><p><b>Pathfinder: </b>What about Renee?</p><p><b>The Mask Stays On: </b>What about her?</p><p><b>Pathfinder: </b>she's not a boy. Where does she fall? Cause women are scary.</p><p><b>The Mask Stays On: </b>Renee is a wild animal, closer to a raccoon than a human.</p><p><b>Pathfinder: </b>I will file her under the term 'Trash Panda' which Crypto often uses.</p><p><b>The Mask Stays On: </b>Hyeon called Renee a trash panda?</p><p><b>Pathfinder: </b>No. He used the term when referring to Octavio. When we saw Octavio wrestling an actual raccoon for a piece of bread.</p><p><b>The Mask Stays On: </b>For…. For bread???</p><p><b>Pathfinder: </b>Yes, just bread. He dropped it on the ground and was going to eat it anyway.</p><p><b>The Mask Stays On: </b>I consider myself an animal too, a beast, the ultimate hunter… but fighting a raccoon over a piece of bread….</p><p><b>Pathfinder: </b>It was very funny. It even made Crypto laugh</p><p><b>The Mask Stays On: </b>HYEON CAN LAUGH??!?!?!?</p><p><b>Pathfinder: </b>Yes?</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>&lt;Group Chat: Ape Sex Leggings&gt;</b>
</p><p><b>Buy Birdfood: </b> Rumor is @ <b>Hyeon</b> knows how to laugh and I demand to hear this.</p><p><b>Hyeon: </b>I don't do emotions.</p><p><b>OCTRAIN: </b>ive seen you laugh</p><p><b>Hyeon: </b>I will extinguish your existence from space and time if you wish to keep talking about things that never happened nor ever will happen. </p><p><b>Electric Burns: </b>What the heck</p><p><b>Void Whispers:</b> is someone laugh shy???</p><p><b>Hyeon: </b>I will end all of you.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Brighter With You: a wholesome chat</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Sorry this chapter is so short but it is brought to us by the lovely anon reader Nah Beez.</p><p>I always take requests for chapters. This week is a little rough though so I might be slow to update.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>&lt;Group Chat: Ape Sex Leggings&gt;</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Void Whispers: </b>
  <span>yo bitches wheres my favorote girl????</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Electric Burns: </b>
  <span>You'd better be talking about me.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Void Whispers: </b>
  <span>Who else would I be talking about?? Hyeon????</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Che: </b>
  <span>But for real though, Crypto would make a pretty girl.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Electric Burns: </b>
  <span>I will fucking destroy him if he steals Renee from me. </span>
</p><p>
  <b>Hyeon: </b>
  <span>Like I would want Renee.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Void Whispers: </b>
  <span>rood!!!!!! You ain't Nat I don't want any.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Electric Burns: </b>
  <span>Aw, bae.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Shooter Ready: </b>
  <span>We are not normalizing that term! Bae means shit in Danish. You will not call Renee shit.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Void Whispers: </b>
  <span>Anita calm down</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Che: </b>
  <span>As shit, y'all triggered the sharp shooter.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Electric Burns: </b>
  <span>Honey, baby, Sweetheart, Sugar Pie, Lover, Beautiful. </span>
</p><p>
  <b>Void Whispers: </b>
  <span>which should I call you Nat ;)</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Electric Burns: </b>
  <span>You can call me anything you want as long as you call me yours. </span>
</p><p>
  <b>Che: </b>
  <span>Oh god </span>
</p><p>
  <b>Shooter Ready: </b>
  <span>I'm gagging</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Toxic: </b>
  <span>I approve.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Che: </b>
  <span>Yo, why isn't Renee answering?</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Che: </b>
  <span>Renee?</span>
</p><p>
  <b>OCTRAIN: </b>
  <span>THERE HAS BEEN A MURDER IN THE KITCHEN. RENEE IS JUST LAYING ON THE FLOOR CRYING</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Che: </b>
  <span>Rest in Pieces</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Void Whispers: </b>
  <span>BURY MY IN PIECES. REESE PIECES!</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Electric Burns: </b>
  <span>Oh thank goodness, I thought I short circuited your brain. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>&lt;Private Chat: Brighter With You&gt;</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Reeeeeenee: </b>
  <span>hey</span>
</p><p>
  <b>IQ 180: </b>
  <span>Hey.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Reeeeeenee: </b>
  <span>You trying to kill me????</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Reeeeeenee: </b>
  <span>i love you so much and you give me a heart attack like that. </span>
</p><p>
  <b>IQ 180: </b>
  <span>&lt;3</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Reeeeeenee: </b>
  <span>staph!!!!!!</span>
</p><p>
  <b>IQ 180: </b>
  <span>You're so easy to tease. </span>
</p><p>
  <b>IQ 180: </b>
  <span>I love you. </span>
</p><p>
  <b>Reeeeeenee: </b>
  <span>did you mean what you said? </span>
</p><p>
  <b>IQ 180: </b>
  <span>???</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Reeeeeenee: </b>
  <span>As long as I call you mine I can call you anything?</span>
</p><p>
  <b>IQ 180: </b>
  <span>Lol, yes.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>IQ 180: </b>
  <span>I mean, I already am yours. </span>
</p><p>
  <b>IQ 180: </b>
  <span>So call me what you want. </span>
</p><p>
  <b>Reeeeeenee: </b>
  <span>Calling you mine is enough for me. </span>
</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Being attracted to Elliott? I'd rather fuck the cold dry desert island sand, but I sadly can not.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hello, once again I'm laughing at my own jokes at 3 am. </p>
<p>So funny story. I started writing out this chapter, then outta nowhere I get a request from an anon by the name of ryan to give us some more life with sneaky Crypto x Mirage. So like, same hat!</p>
<p>I'm always open to requests of what to add next. You can always leave a comment below or I have a <a href="https://www.tumblr.com/blog/ian-the-existential-crisis">Tumblr</a> where I accept asks for chapters and prompts.<br/>Small edit: can we talk about how this has 2k hits????</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>&lt;Group Chat: Ape Sex Leggings&gt;</b>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>Void Whispers: </b>
  <span>oh man who I wouldn't kill to get some pudding. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Electric Burns: </b>
  <span>I hope I make the list of people you'll eat pudding with instead of kill for it. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Che: </b>
  <span>Renee is three am</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Shooter Ready: </b>
  <span>Yes it is, why are any of you awake?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Che: </b>
  <span>Octavio is playing a video game in my room and screaming at the top of his lungs.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Void Whispers: </b>
  <span>Elliott kicked me out of movie night</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Electric Burns: </b>
  <span>I'm literally in your arms.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Void Whispers: </b>
  <span>*GASP!*</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Void Whispers: </b>
  <span>Nat are you</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Void Whispers: </b>
  <span>Fucking Anita</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Void Whispers: </b>
  <span>Without ME?!?!?!?!?!?!</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Che: </b>
  <span>She's in such shock she actually capitalized. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Electric Burns: </b>
  <span>Hey! In my defense you were with Elliott</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Electric Burns: </b>
  <span>And I know you two fuck on occasion. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Void Whispers: </b>
  <span>pfft not anymore we fuckin dont</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Che: </b>
  <span>Oh? And what does that mean?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Shooter Ready:</b>
  <span> Did you guys have a fight</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Void Whispers: </b>
  <span>whut?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Void Whispers: </b>
  <span>OFC NOT!</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Shooter Ready: </b>
  <span>Language!</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Lonely Holo: </b>
  <span>Why is it I come in to y'all talking about my sex life? I'm not going to fuck Renee in Hyeon's room. That's just rood. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Void Whispers: </b>
  <span>well….</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Lonely Holo: </b>
  <span>Well, yeah I mean without extending the invitation.  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Void Whispers: </b>
  <span>What a kinky threesome we would make</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Lonely Holo: </b>
  <span>Wait, has Crypto told you his kinks?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Che: </b>
  <span>Has he told you???</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Electric Burns: </b>
  <span>Wait are you actually fucking Crypto?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Lonely Holo: </b>
  <span>What? That's riducilase</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Shooter Ready: </b>
  <span>Ridiculous. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Lonely Holo: </b>
  <span>Yeha that</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Hyeon: </b>
  <span>Why is my nonexistent sex life with witt-less over here being talked about?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Lonely Holo: </b>
  <span>We could always change it to an existing sex life ;)</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Hyeon: </b>
  <span>Over you're dead body.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Electric Burns: </b>
  <span>It's okay! We've all felt things for Elliott before. Most of us feel annoyance and frustration, but then there are those few that actually feel love for him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Buy Birdfood: </b>
  <span>Love is a strong word. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Void Whispers:</b>
  <span> Very strong word</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Buy Birdfood: </b>
  <span>What I feel for elliott is more like being trapped on a desert island, while being extremely horny, and both of my hands are chopped off</span>
  <b>. </b>
  <span>There aren't even animals to fuck, it's elliott or the dry sand. Except the sand runs away when you try. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Void Whispers: </b>
  <span>OHMG it's finally in words! This is what it's like. It's not an attraction it's just you're so horny you have to do something. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Lonely Holo: </b>
  <span>Feelin' really loved over here guys. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Electric Burns: </b>
  <span>Renee… my love…. My world, my moon and stars. If you ever feel like that, come to me. I will never turn you away. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Hyeon: </b>
  <span>I'll just use my nubs.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Shooter Ready: </b>
  <span>EXCUSE ME!</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Void Whispers: </b>
  <span>HAHAHAHAHAH</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Lonely Holo: </b>
  <span>Hyeon why??? :( </span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Buy Birdfood: </b>
  <span>Beware, once you've gone nub you don't go back. Nothing is ever the same</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Chat Dad: </b>
  <span>Bloth, should we be worried? </span>
</p>
<p><br/>
<br/>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Livin' for the Jealousparks</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>So this chapter was brought to us by <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nah_Beez">Nah_Beez</a> who has given me life. Also be on the look out for another darksparks story coming soon. </p><p>Y'all, I don't think you realize how much I appreciate all of you and how much I love writing for y'all.  Thank you for letting me continue this weird chat fic.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>&lt;Group Chat: Dad's Chat&gt;</b>
</p><p> </p><p><b>One-Shot: </b>Okay grandpa's, what the hell happened between Natalie and Hyeon now?</p><p><b>Gibby: </b>Whatcha mean?</p><p><b>One-Shot: </b>They are literally going out of their way to pick fights with each other. It's so bad that I got eliminated today because of their dick measuring contest.</p><p><b>Gibby: </b>Oh that.</p><p><b>Gibby: </b>I'm pretty sure Natalie and Renee had a fight because Renee and Elliott mentioned they would have a threesome with Hyeon.</p><p><b>One-Shot: </b>And???</p><p><b>Gibby: </b>Natalie never got invited.</p><p><b>One-Shot: </b>So that's why she's mad?</p><p><b>Gibby: </b>Not exactly.</p><p><b>Gibby: </b>When she went to possessively confront Hyeon, he told her he would never have a threesome with those idiots.</p><p><b>One-Shot: </b>Let me guess, Nat got upset.</p><p><b>Gibby: </b>mhmm.</p><p><b>Gibby: </b>So Nat said that Elliott wasn't the only idiot, and she would feel bad for Renee if they ever did anything.</p><p><b>Gibby: </b>So Hyeon got defensive. He said he didn't want her sloppy seconds but he knew he could steal Renee if he tried even a little.</p><p><b>One-Shot: </b>I thought Hyeon liked Octavio.</p><p><b>Gibby: </b>Nonono. Hyeon and Elliott are dating, no doubt in my mind.</p><p><b>One-Shot: </b>So really… They are both just being childish.</p><p><b>Gibby: </b>Yes.</p><p><b>0111001: </b>This is what I expect from the younger generation</p><p><b>One-Shot: </b>How nice of you to finally join us Alex</p><p><b>0111001: </b>Don't call me that like we are friends. This is merely the moderator chat.</p><p><b>One-Shot: </b>Whatever you say big guy.</p><p><b>Gibby: </b>Yeah, I expect the young ones to act jealous. Meanwhile Renee and Elliott are fine joking about having sex and sharing condoms.</p><p><b>0111001: </b>I have not been on the group chat today. Please do not tell me that's what they are talking about.</p><p><b>One-Shot: </b>Isn't Hyeon around mine and Elliott's age though?</p><p><b>Gibby: </b>Don't look at the group chat Alexander.</p><p><b>0111001: </b>Gibby and I found out he lied about his age. It took all but cornering him and threatening torture to get him to confess.</p><p><b>One-Shot: </b>WHAT DID YOU TWO DO TO HIM??</p><p><b>Gibby: </b>….</p><p><b>0111001: </b>Nothing permanent.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <b>&lt;Group Chat: Ape Sex Leggings&gt; </b>
</p><p> </p><p><b>Electric Burns: </b>Renee</p><p><b>Electric Burns: </b>Nobody will love you are much as I do.</p><p><b>Che: </b>Rood!</p><p><b>Electric Burns: </b>No man could ever love you like I do!</p><p><b>Lonely Holo: </b>Oh is that jealousy I see?</p><p><b>Electric Burns: </b>Not because of you.</p><p><b>OCTRAIN: </b>did someone set Nat to savage today?????</p><p><b>Che: </b>I think so.</p><p><b>Electric Burns: </b>Where the heck is Renee?</p><p><b>Lonely Holo: </b>She's watching anime with me and Crypto.</p><p><b>Electric Burns: </b>You'd better scoot the fuck over! I'm coming down there right now.</p><p><b>Che: </b>Octavio, my love, I think they are trying to exclude us from an orgy.</p><p><b>OCTRAIN: </b>im glad I wasn't the only one thinking that.</p><p><b>Che: </b>If you guys start making out someone better text us! Don't leave us out.</p><p><b>Lonely Holo: </b>We are literally just watching anime??</p><p><b>Lonely Holo: </b>And Nat and Hyeon started fighting as soon as she got here.</p><p><b>Che: </b>Was Hyeon next to Renee or were you?</p><p><b>Lonely Holo: </b>…. She was in the middle.</p><p><b>Che: </b>Well that's why.</p><p><b>Che: </b>Don't get in the way of their fluffy romance. Or Nat might kill you. She's snapped back at me and Anita before too.</p><p><strong>Lonely Holo:</strong> Oh.... Does someone think she can take the beast that is Renee and make our local Raccoon finally settle down? I'd love to see this. </p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. So wait? Cryptane wasn't happening?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>So I'm sorry this took so long. Next chapter, unless it's a request, won't be out until after the 4th so I have a chance to play horizon. Anywho,  this only took so long because I was writing a darksparks for Nah_Beez and I got like 1k in, decided I hated it and trashed it. So I did this instead. </p>
<p>Remember that I love you all.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>&lt;Private Chat: Drama Hounds&gt;</b>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Local Healer: </b>
  <span>Oh? What's this? We finally get invited to a private chat.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Energy Drinker: </b>
  <span>Why do we need our own chat to talk shit</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Local Healer: </b>
  <span>Okay, but… And hear me out. When does Bloth ever come to us with gossip? </span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Energy Drinker: </b>
  <span>what are you even talking about???? Bloth hunder is a being of pure drama we talk shit all the time</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Local Healer: </b>
  <span>Then where the fuck am I at when this happens, Octavio?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Energy Drinker: </b>
  <span>this most recent time? I think you were with Loba </span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Local Healer: </b>
  <span>Are you shitting me? I thought you were fucking Hyeon?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Energy Drinker: </b>
  <span>me and crypto? Fucking? Like dick in ass?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Local Healer: </b>
  <span>Are you telling me that I've been misled for the last 4 months, thinking that when you guys game in his room that I might one day get sweet porn out of it, and that's never going to happen?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Energy Drinker: </b>
  <span>Were you just expecting me to offer you porn of me and crypto one day or were you going to like…. Idk fucking ask????</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Local Healer: </b>
  <span>I was going to ask.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Local Healer: </b>
  <span>Eventually.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Local Healer: </b>
  <span>When the moment was right. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Energy Drinker: </b>
  <span>WHEN WAS THE MOMENT GOING TO BE RIGHT AJAY?!?!?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Local Healer:</b>
  <span> I don't know. After a blowjob or something. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Energy Drinker: </b>
  <span>OH YEAH THAT'S THE BEST TIME TO ASK FOR PORN.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Local Healer: </b>
  <span>I mean, it really is. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>The Mask Stays On: </b>
  <span>*munch munch munch*</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>&lt;Group Chat: Ape Sex Leggings&gt;</b>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>Shooter Ready: </b>
  <span>Can anyone explain when I heard the term, Hyeon porn.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Hyeon: </b>
  <span>YOU WHAT?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Electric Burns: </b>
  <span>Hyeon? Are you?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Hyeon: </b>
  <span>I don't recall ever making porn.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Electric Burns: </b>
  <span>A secret porn star?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Electric Burns: </b>
  <span>Damn it, let me finish typing.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Hyeon: </b>
  <span>If I was a porn star do you honestly think I would be here? </span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Lonely Holo: </b>
  <span>Well…. I mean…. I'm here.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Electric Burns: </b>
  <span>B-class porn star.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Lonely Holo: </b>
  <span>ouch!</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Shooter Ready: </b>
  <span>Well it's nice to see you two being civil again after last week.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Hyeon: </b>
  <span>This is civil? </span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Electric Burns: </b>
  <span>We did almost blow up epicenter with our fight. So this might be civil.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Hyeon: </b>
  <span>Like we could blow anything up just by texting. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Electric Burns: </b>
  <span>I don't know… you seem really good at destroying things. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Hyeon: </b>
  <span>Say that to my face.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Lonely Holo: </b>
  <span>So like? Am I supposed to ignore the fact that I kinda wanna see Hyeon in a porno now?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Che: </b>
  <span>Exactly! </span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Che: </b>
  <span>I thought he and Octavio were doing the do, with how open our relationship is, and I thought maybe I could get some nice porn for nights when I'm stuck in the infirmary without my boyfriend. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Hyeon: </b>
  <span>Excuse you! I don't do that kinda thing.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Electric Burns: </b>
  <span>Fuck?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Hyeon: </b>
  <span>What, no? I'm not open.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Lonely Holo: </b>
  <span>Awww. Cryppy wants to be someone's one and only. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Electric Burns: </b>
  <span>Wait? So you aren't trying to have a threesome with Renee and Elliott?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Hyeon: </b>
  <span>Fuck no.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Shooter Ready: </b>
  <span>Language! Both of you. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Electric Burns: </b>
  <span>Oh…. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Electric Burns: </b>
  <span>We should hang out. I'll buy popcorn and we can watch a movie.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Hyeon: </b>
  <span>???? Nat I'm not into you.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Electric Burns: </b>
  <span>NO! </span>
</p>
<p>
  <b>Electric Burns: </b>
  <span>As an apology. I thought you were trying to steal Renee. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Should we worry? Probably but mom 13 is here to stay</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I'm so ready for season 7. I can't wait to play Crypto!!!!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>&lt;Group Chat: Ape Sex Leggings&gt; </b>
</p><p>
  <b>Lonely Holo</b>
  <span> added </span>
  <b>Sleeping Horizon </b>
  <span>to </span>
  <b>ApeSex Leggings </b>
</p><p>
  <b>Lonely Holo </b>
  <span>has changed </span>
  <b>MomFriend </b>
  <span>name to MomFriend</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Lonely Holo: </b>
  <span>I introduce you all to our new mom. </span>
</p><p>
  <b>MomFriend: </b>
  <span>Aye, yee, wee ones. </span>
</p><p>
  <b>OCTRAIN: </b>
  <span>hello mom #13</span>
</p><p>
  <b>OCTRAIN: </b>
  <span>when you leavin too?</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Chat Dad:</b>
  <span> Octavio do we need to talk again.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>OCTRAIN: </b>
  <span>(':</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Lonely Holo: </b>
  <span>Anyway….</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Lonely Holo: </b>
  <span>Welcome to the chat.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>MomFriend: </b>
  <span>Ay this one thinks he can escape me.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>MomFriend: </b>
  <span>I lost me one too many children already. </span>
</p><p>
  <b>Chat Dad: </b>
  <span>Mary, do </span>
  <em>
    <span>we </span>
  </em>
  <span>need to talk???</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Hyeon: </b>
  <span>Why does everyone here have a tragic backstory but me?</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Lonely Holo: </b>
  <span>You've never told us your backstory.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Hyeon: </b>
  <span>Yup.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Electric Burns: </b>
  <span>Story time!!!</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Hyeon: </b>
  <span>Once upon a time….</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Hyeon: </b>
  <span>Renee told me that she loves you more than anything.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Void Whispers: </b>
  <span>HYEON</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Hyeon: </b>
  <span>And remembering her past didn't matter, because she had you in her future. </span>
</p><p>
  <b>Lonely Holo: </b>
  <span>AW</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Lonely Holo: </b>
  <span>WAIT, that's not your backstory.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Hyeon: </b>
  <span>I never said it would be.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Che:</b>
  <span> OMG SOMEONE KILLED NAT! THERE'SBLOOD EVERYWHERE</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Hyeon: </b>
  <span>Sorry I think I hear Caustic calling me. </span>
</p><p>
  <b>MomFriend: </b>
  <span>What a fun chat yee have. </span>
</p><p>
  <b>Mr. Kill Your Fam: </b>
  <span>Welcome to the real challenge of the apex games. </span>
</p><p>
  <b>OCTRAIN: </b>
  <span>Pretending like we care about Elliott's stupidity in this chat?</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Toxic: </b>
  <span>Pretending like I don't use you all as my experiments inside and out of the games?</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Here 4 REVENGE: </b>
  <span>Trying to ignore this chat that never stops while we fuck?</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Shooter Ready: </b>
  <span>Pretending like I don't want to shoot you all dead?</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Hyeon: </b>
  <span>Pretending to</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Che: </b>
  <span>Hyeon?</span>
</p><p>
  <b>OCTRAIN: </b>
  <span>Hyeon?</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Lonely Holo: </b>
  <span>Crypto? </span>
</p><p>
  <b>Lonely Holo: </b>
  <span>Get back here right now and finish that or I'm going to change your name again.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>MomFriend: </b>
  <span>Am I the only one worried about all of the above?</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Lonely Holo </b>
  <span>has changed </span>
  <b>Not Elliott's BF…. Yet </b>
  <span>to Not Elliott's BF…. Yet </span>
</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Down Time</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I had to reread my own freaking story because I couldn't remember anyone's names and I lost my notebook that has all the Group chats and my control chapters.... TT ^TT </p><p>This story is made upon request now, which is why it's marked as completed. If y'all need another chapter you know what to do. Other than that I'm going to be working on my serendipity series and something I've been teasing on tumblr.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>&lt;Group Chat: Ape Sex Leggings&gt; </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Here 4 REVENGE: </b>
  <span>Why are we okay with the fact that Renee is dominating all of Natalie's time? </span>
</p><p>
  <b>Here 4 REVENGE: </b>
  <span>I haven't had Natalie kisses in almost a month. </span>
</p><p>
  <b>Che:</b>
  <span> They get like this sometimes. </span>
</p><p>
  <b>Shooter Ready: </b>
  <span>Everything is good and poly until darksparks starts acting mono during their anniversary. </span>
</p><p>
  <b>Here 4 REVENGE: </b>
  <span>oooooh, shit. It's their anniversary. </span>
</p><p>
  <b>Che: </b>
  <span>Yeah and they make this shit last four months every time it comes around. </span>
</p><p>
  <b>Shooter Ready: </b>
  <span>You still have me. </span>
</p><p>
  <b>Toxic: </b>
  <span>That explains why the Group Chat is so quiet right now, however that doesn't explain our three local idiots. </span>
</p><p>
  <b>Another Window Victim: </b>
  <span>Hi friends, I would just like to update you about caffeine addiction and the human body. High doses of caffeine can not force you to stay awake for weeks on end. Eventually you will have to rest. </span>
</p><p>
  <b>Che: </b>
  <span>Tav finally fell asleep? Shocking, I didn't think he was capable of that anymore. </span>
</p><p>
  <b>Here 4 REVENGE: </b>
  <span>Yeah, but that doesn't explain Hyeon and Elliott. </span>
</p><p>
  <b>Che: </b>
  <span>That explains all of Hyeon!</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Shooter Ready: </b>
  <span>Are we really pretending like Crypto doesn't live off of energy drinks and crash harder than Path into windows while grappling? </span>
</p><p>
  <b>Toxic: </b>
  <span>And @</span>
  <b>Witt-less</b>
  <span>?</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Che: </b>
  <span>Last time I saw him he was hanging out with Mary. </span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <b>&lt;Group Chat: Ape Sex Leggings&gt;</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>OCTRAIN: </b>
  <span>I DO NOT SLEEP! I WAS GAMING!!!!</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Che: </b>
  <span>Yea, sure.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>OCTRAIN: </b>
  <span>I SWEAR. </span>
</p><p>
  <b>OCTRAIN: </b>
  <span>AJAY</span>
</p><p>
  <b>OCTRAIN: </b>
  <span>AJAY I SWEAR </span>
</p><p>
  <b>OCTRAIN: </b>
  <span>AJAY LOOK AT ME</span>
</p><p>
  <b>OCTRAIN: </b>
  <span>I DON'T KNOW SLEEP, SHE RUNS FASTER THAN ME </span>
</p><p>
  <b>Not Elliott's BF… Yet: </b>
  <span>shhh. Some of us are trying to sleep. </span>
</p><p>
  <b>OCTRAIN: </b>
  <span>BETRAYER!</span>
</p><p>
  <b>OCTRAIN: </b>
  <span>I'M CHANGING THE NAME OF OUR CHAT. I'LL DELETE IT!</span>
</p><p>
  <b>Not Elliott's BF… Yet: </b>
  <span>Is that supposed to be a threat? </span>
</p><p>
  <b>OCTRAIN: </b>
  <span>there are no emojis to express how hurt I am. </span>
</p><p>
  <b>Here 4 REVENGE: </b>
  <span>Oh how I miss the silence.</span>
</p><p><b>Not Elliott's BF… Yet: </b>Shh, don't say anything. You never know when Elliott might pop in. </p>
  </div></div>
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